Western media with Chinese characteristics

Yes, folks, it’s what you’ve always wanted. A take on the world from an ever-so-slightly satirical version of the China Daily. The story below is based on events reported, among places, here and here.

On China-based blogs it’s not too unusual to hear trolls (and clowns) talk about western media and Chinese media as if they were two sides of the same coin. In an attempt to highlight the differences between the two it is my pleasure to bring you the first of what will hopefully be a series of articles from the Western Daily.

Note: The idea behind referring to “The West” as one country also comes from the China Daily. This publication is guilty of a multitude of daily over-generalisations and incredibly simplistic conclusions (among other things). One of these habits they have is to refer to “The West” as if it is one entity where everyone acts and looks in tandem – often as part of a plan to tear China apart. Sigh. They give me so much to work with.

April 25th 2008

China hijacks torch relay in Australia Autonomous Region

The Sacred Flame, historically seen as a symbol of unity, peace and hope around the world, was hijacked by aggressive Chinese nationalists in Australia Autonomous Region (AAR) yesterday.

Patriots from the autonomous region turned out in force to support the relay, but were mobbed by hordes of fanatical international Chinese students, some frothing at the mouth in apparent pseudo-religious ecstasy.

Despite repeated assurances from the Chinese Government that the Games were to be used a symbol of world unity, most of these running dogs of the CCP, here as guests of The West, waved Chinese flags and sang so-called “patriotic” songs.

In actual fact these songs have been propagated by the ruling CCP, an evil political party with the soul of a dog and the spine of an iguana that has been responsible for the deaths of possibly hundreds of millions of Chinese people over the last half-century.

Attacks on the peaceful patriots of the region soon followed.

"We were being pushed and spat on, abused. We were kicked in the back and punched. We were hit with flagpoles. They pushed me to the ground," John Price said. (from The Australian April 25)

In a cunningly insidious move calculated to increase the outrage of the patriots of The West, the Chinese Embassy gave material and organizational support to the aggressive rabble, including arranging buses, field marshals, and communications equipment.

They even sent thugs and goons to attack anyone who came close to the sacred flame itself, although Kevin Rudd, Governor of the AAR had repeatedly assured the Chinese Government that the region’s crack police force would ensure its safety.

This despicable act, which interfered with the affairs of our nation, strongly hurt the feelings of the patriots of The West, who have invited hundreds of thousands of these Chinese hooligans to study and live in our various provinces and autonomous regions over many decades.

Following the occurrences, the Chinese media reported the event as a happy occasion where people exchanged lollipops and pandas and kangaroos danced together on rooftops.

It just goes to show how biased the Chinese media is when reporting what happens in The West.

These events are examples of the rise of ugly Chinese nationalism in recent years, with racial abuse of the Japanese being the most common outlet of their pseudo-nationalistic loathing.

We Westerners thought that most overseas Chinese students were just here to study hard and get good grades. This disgusting anti-western farce has seriously hurt our feelings. We just want to ask why does China send so many of its students overseas if they are going to take advantage of the freedom to protest in other countries, when they can’t even do it in their own?

We all know the answer to that one. China is trying to split The Western motherland apart. Don’t they know that can never happen? The West has been a country for hundreds of years. That’s far longer than the PRC has been in existence.