Chinese Democracy

No, this is not about politics. Fools.

My first Guns 'n' Roses album was Appetite For Destruction. I didn't buy it - I swapped it for Michael Jackson's Thriller. It must have been sometime in the early nineties. Nevermind was all the rage, Kurt Cobain was still alive, and I was just becoming musically aware. Nirvana was the background music of my early teenage years, but GNR was souffle to my ears.

The deep affection I felt for this band hasn't waned over time, but it has morphed. When I was not yet a teenager I found the unbridled energy of the driving guitar solos thrilling. Each song was a wild ride of testosterone-fuelled excess. As my musical tastes developed, I began to notice the almost comically ridiculous nature of the band's antics. And lyrics. And hair. And everything else about them. But the shine has never worn off.

In 2007, I had the good fortune to go and see the band live in my hometown of Perth, Western Australia. Actually, it was not GNR, but Axl Rose was the swaggering frontman, and all the classics were played. Middle-aged, carrying a few extra kilos and some ridiculously plaited long dyed blonde hair, he wouldn't be out of place in certain seedy areas of Bangkok. But he belted out the music with the force of a sonic tsunami - even if he did pant a bit in between songs. Jumping and swaying in between bearded bogans* - and their equally bearded bogan mothers, I fell in love with Gunners all over again. This time as something that was almost as a parody of itself. Music, and an image that is sublime in its ridiculousness, and proud of it.

And so it is with considerable bogan relish I would like to announce that the final musical fruit of the band is about to be released to a record store near you.

Unless you are in China. I just can't see the album name getting past the censors.

Guns N' Roses' long-awaited, endlessly delayed new album, Chinese Democracy, finally has a release date. According to the music industry site Hits Daily, the CD will drop at all Best Buy stores, where it is an exclusive, on the Sunday prior to Thanksgiving, November 23. This will give the album a full seven days on sale before entering the chart on December 2. Best Buy's sales week runs from Sunday through Saturday night.

What were they thinking when they came up with this album name 12 years ago??


*A bogan is southern Australian slang for white trash. More or less.

AXL: On a crusade for democracy.

The whacko from Wasilla

With the gathering storm clouds portending a giant shit-storm of fiscal misfortune the world over, I am now cautiously predicting an Obama win in the US election. Of the two candidates, I think he is better positioned to claim authentically strong financial credentials. However, the sick and twisted voyeur in me is still somewhat curious to see what a McCain, and potentially Palin, presidency would bring, particularly in light of this story from the Alaska Daily News:

In June, long before she was selected as the Republican nominee for vice president, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin attended a religious gathering at the Wasilla Assembly of God, her former church.

Standing there on stage and speaking to the college-aged graduates of the church's Master's Commission ministry, the governor reminisced about growing up in the fellowship -- "getting saved here, getting baptized by Pastor Riley in Little Beaver Lake Camp" -- while urging the new disciples to help fulfill the church's mission, as well as certain destinies for America and Alaska.

Pray for the construction of the $30 billion natural gas pipeline, Palin told them. Pray for the military men and women overseas, "that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending (U.S. soldiers) out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for -- that there is a plan and it's God's plan." Later, senior pastor Ed Kalnins -- with Palin standing at his side -- spoke about tapping into Alaska's natural resource wealth in order to fulfill the state's destiny of serving as a shelter for Christians at the end of the world.

"I believe that Alaska is one of the 'refuge states' -- come on you guys -- in the Last Days," Kalnins said, raising his arm to underscore his point. "And hundreds of thousands of people are going to come to this state to seek refuge. And the church has to be ready to minister to them."

Now that she's been selected as Republican presidential candidate John McCain's running mate, such comments raise questions: What are Sarah Palin's religious beliefs? What churches does she attend and who are her pastors? How have her beliefs played out in her public life in Alaska? What do they portend for a possible vice president?

This is the million dollar question: What does this portend for a possible vice-president? Hopefully, not a lot.

But for a President, which is definitely on the cards if McCain doesn't make it through the next four years, I think we know. A gun totin', god fearin', bible thumpin', abortion hatin', abstinence teachin', military promotin', oil guzzlin', environment trashin' George Bush Jr II, except with big hair and from Alaska. YEEEHAAW, let's go shoot ourselves some non-believers!

Is the end of anonymous internet nigh?

This article from Cnet:

A United Nations agency is quietly drafting technical standards, proposed by the Chinese government, to define methods of tracing the original source of Internet communications and potentially curbing the ability of users to remain anonymous.

The U.S. National Security Agency is also participating in the "IP Traceback" drafting group, named Q6/17, which is meeting next week in Geneva to work on the traceback proposal. Members of Q6/17 have declined to release key documents, and meetings are closed to the public.

The potential for eroding Internet users' right to remain anonymous, which is protected by law in the United States and recognized in international law by groups such as the Council of Europe, has alarmed some technologists and privacy advocates. Also affected may be services such as the Tor anonymizing network.

At Slashdot, where I first found the link to this story, there was also this insightful comment from a poster:

"When anonymous internet is a crime, only criminals will have anonymous internet. As usual, this would be a law that will almost exclusively affect the law abiding."

Although I am no tech whiz (just look at the layout of my blog) or activist, my initial impression of this kind of thing is that it will end up something like the war on drugs - costly, time-consuming, and ultimately unwinnable. At this point I could go on a rant about the meddling Chinese government, the hypocrisy of the American government,or general outrage against the powers that be, but I also think this kind of plan may have some positives. After all, the internet offers an effective medium through which criminals can interact with one another. I'm sure the best of these will be able to continue to do so no matter what, but this may help in cutting out the less sophisticated stuff.

Is this the end for Kim Jong-Il?

In the marvellous documentary "Team America," investigative journalists Matt Stone and Trey Parker go undercover into North Korea and gain unprecedented access to one of the most fascinating political figures of our time. Long derided in the biased western media as a "despot" "tyrant" and "jackass," the real Kim Jong-Il reveals himself as a deeply complex, and touchingly flawed figure. In one scene, he sings revealingly to the camera of the tortured poignance of his existence. Here's a flashback:

I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...

I think we'll all agree this kind of stuff can really tug at the heart strings. But rather than eliciting sympathy from the axis of countries bent on the destruction of North Korea, the western press continues to spread falsehoods and falsity about the dear leader, using such awful puns as "Is Kim Jong Ill?" This from the Australian newspaper The Australian (newspaper).

NORTH Korea's No.2 has denied reports that leader Kim Jong-il is ill, which a Pyongyang diplomat called a Western "conspiracy"."There are no problems," Kim yong-Nam, the regime's de facto head of state, told Kyodo news agency in Pyongyang. He confirmed that Kim Jong-il, 66, did not show up at a major parade yesterday marking North Korea's 60th anniversary. "While we wanted to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the country with General Secretary Kim Jong-il, we celebrated on our own," Kim yong-Nam was quoted as saying. A US intelligence official said yesterday that Kim had apparently suffered a "health setback", possibly a stroke. "We see such reports as not only worthless, but rather as a conspiracy plot," Song il-Ho, North Korea's ambassador handling relations with Japan, told Kyodo separately. "I believe the aim is to form a public opinion on something that is not true," Mr Song was quoted as saying. "Western media have reported falsehood before."

Not content with just spreading rumours about Kim Jong's ill-health, some propaganda outlets, I mean western newspapers, have gone so far as to claim the Dear Leader is dead.

IS Kim Jong-il for real?
The question has baffled foreign intelligence agencies for years but now a veteran Japanese expert on North Korea says the "dear leader" is actually dead - and his role is played by a double.The expert says Kim died of diabetes in 2003 and world leaders, including Vladimir Putin of Russia and Hu Jintao of China, have been negotiating with an impostor.

Well I have one question for these punks. Answer me this. If Kim Jong-Il died in 2003, then how on earth could he have appeared in Team America in 2004?! Fuck yeah!

Is this man for real?

Chinese Government soft on smack

If you are a recovering junkie looking to kick a jumbo-sized habit, and feel like a free rehabilitation program on sunny Hainan island, I suggest you get on a plane to China now. This from the NY Times:

An elephant that became addicted to heroin at the hands of illegal traders will return home after three years of rehabilitation, the Chinese state media said Thursday. The elephant, Xiguang, a 4-year-old male, became addicted after the traders captured him on the China-Myanmar border in March 2005. They fed him bananas laced with heroin as bait and to pacify him, the official Xinhua News Agency reported. When he was found two months later in southwest China, he was suffering from withdrawal. He received methadone at a center on Hainan Island and recovered, Xinhua said

I find this article especially fascinating for several reasons. 1) Traders fed an elephant bananas laced with heroin. Besides the fact I thought tranquilisers were all the rage these days, where did these traders get their hands on heroin? Is there a corruption angle there? 2) Since when did the NY Times uncritically reprint a story about somebody "undergoing treatment" with the blessing of the CCP? 3) Where is the political angle? Was the elephant "re-educated" for his political views? Did he "write a letter of self-criticism," in the manner of the Chinese soccer players who went to have a bath in a hotel room with several prostitutes, girlfriends, and groupies because the water in their team hotel was cold? Was the elephant under house arrest? Were his rights violated? Did he have suspected links to the Dalai Lama?

As Alice in Wonderland observed after her own mind-altering experiences, this just gets curiouser and curiouser. There is a big, juicy story under all that Xinhua spin. Slopppy journalism, NYT, sloppy journalism....

I want to go to North Korea

One of the downsides of a world where internet makes information and communication instant and aeroplanes make worldwide travel a matter of hours is the fact that there are few places left on the planet that are really, truly foreign. In fact, the only three I can think of off the top of my head are North Korea, Bhutan, and Hollywood. North Korea is accessible for westerners, but expensive, and visits are tightly controlled. So I'm hanging out for the day when the gates inevitably swing open a little wider. And this article gives me reason for hope:

China Confirms N. Korea as Tourist Destination

The Chinese government has designated North Korea a tourist destination, said the Xinhua News agency Wednesday. According to Xinhua, in a recent meeting in Pyongyang, China National Tourism Administration notified North Korean authorities of its decision.

Who knows when North Korea will be properly accessible for westerners. But I look forward to that day.