Is this the end for Kim Jong-Il?

In the marvellous documentary "Team America," investigative journalists Matt Stone and Trey Parker go undercover into North Korea and gain unprecedented access to one of the most fascinating political figures of our time. Long derided in the biased western media as a "despot" "tyrant" and "jackass," the real Kim Jong-Il reveals himself as a deeply complex, and touchingly flawed figure. In one scene, he sings revealingly to the camera of the tortured poignance of his existence. Here's a flashback:

I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...

I think we'll all agree this kind of stuff can really tug at the heart strings. But rather than eliciting sympathy from the axis of countries bent on the destruction of North Korea, the western press continues to spread falsehoods and falsity about the dear leader, using such awful puns as "Is Kim Jong Ill?" This from the Australian newspaper The Australian (newspaper).

NORTH Korea's No.2 has denied reports that leader Kim Jong-il is ill, which a Pyongyang diplomat called a Western "conspiracy"."There are no problems," Kim yong-Nam, the regime's de facto head of state, told Kyodo news agency in Pyongyang. He confirmed that Kim Jong-il, 66, did not show up at a major parade yesterday marking North Korea's 60th anniversary. "While we wanted to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the country with General Secretary Kim Jong-il, we celebrated on our own," Kim yong-Nam was quoted as saying. A US intelligence official said yesterday that Kim had apparently suffered a "health setback", possibly a stroke. "We see such reports as not only worthless, but rather as a conspiracy plot," Song il-Ho, North Korea's ambassador handling relations with Japan, told Kyodo separately. "I believe the aim is to form a public opinion on something that is not true," Mr Song was quoted as saying. "Western media have reported falsehood before."

Not content with just spreading rumours about Kim Jong's ill-health, some propaganda outlets, I mean western newspapers, have gone so far as to claim the Dear Leader is dead.

IS Kim Jong-il for real?
The question has baffled foreign intelligence agencies for years but now a veteran Japanese expert on North Korea says the "dear leader" is actually dead - and his role is played by a double.The expert says Kim died of diabetes in 2003 and world leaders, including Vladimir Putin of Russia and Hu Jintao of China, have been negotiating with an impostor.

Well I have one question for these punks. Answer me this. If Kim Jong-Il died in 2003, then how on earth could he have appeared in Team America in 2004?! Fuck yeah!

Is this man for real?